(Excerpt from Lick Me)

Chapter 11

Pork

Pork's set was entirely white and had three main areas loosely representing the Factory, Max's Kansas City, and Amanda Pork's bedroom, all dominated by Pork’s big bed in the middle. There were no curtains; the action and lighting just moved from one area of the stage to the next, and the characters entered and exited via revolving panels at the rear. A half hour before the start of the play, just before the audience was allowed in, I took my place on the bed and stayed there completely still, as if I was sleeping, until the play began. And I was completely naked. So, as the audience members entered and sat there waiting, they were already confronted with a sight that made some of them feel rather uncomfortable.

Much like in World, Pork featured two beautiful young naked boys in high heels, called the Pepsodent Twins, one with his pubes powdered blue and one with his pubes powdered green. And once I woke up (a few minutes into the play), I spent a lot of time rolling around with them on the bed, before gradually putting my clothes on and moving about the set -- all the while shooting "Vitameatavegamin" (Pork's I Love Lucy name for speed) right through my pants. Most of my scenes were either rambling convoluted one-sided rap sessions with the Andy character, played by Tony Zee, or raging quarrels with my mother character, played by Suzanne Smith. And some were quite distastefully graphic, like the one where I plopped globs of chocolate pudding onto a clear glass dish, held over the face of one of the Twins, while Vulva described the details of a plate job -- a scene that caused gasps from some in the audience and led a few of 'em to walk out, especially when I proceeded to lick the spoon.